Grow the Hell Up!

 I am still in the home of the brave, land of the free and, for my part, the confines of the puritanically sex-obsessed. An odd combo to be sure but... here we are. What other country could ban a girl from going to UFC fights because she flashed her boobs in the same month a girl in Canada flashed her breastage at a hockey game and got cheered and rewarded for it with a Playboy pictorial, fame, and wads of dough? 

It's not just in sports though. I often watch the late night talk show hosts slagging off Donald Trump by talking about his small hands and mushroom cap penis as though these physical attributes might render him a man incapable of leading the country. Don't get me wrong, I think of him as a man incapable of leading a quiz night at the local pub, but when his detractors use spankings with magazines, golden showers, and other sexuality to criticize him, in my mind their immaturity detracts from the legitimate point of his general ineptitude. They're shooting themselves in the private parts... so to speak. 

Remember the days when old Bill Clinton was trying to weasel his way out of admitting he had sex with Monica Lewinsky? Although, again in my mind, being unfaithful to your wife (a person with whom you've signed an ownership contract) would tend to indicate bad faith and dishonesty, traits frowned upon in a president, I always thought it was just the idea of Bill Clinton getting blown that gave everybody the heebie-jeebies back then. Or was it that she didn't have movie star good looks? 

The concept that good people are somehow responsible for being "above" sexual thoughts and behavior is an idea entrenched in the American psyche with seemingly unassailable firmness and turgidity. I think it is rooted in the puritanical, Christian, Old Testament rearing of the broods of Americans since the Mayflower. The cocksure ejaculations of rectors and other artisans who employ lips and tongues to inject the populace with the sweet nectar that is communion with God seems to have penetrated deeply.

In the book of Matthew we are told that any man who looketh upon a woman's body with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. The logic that the woman's body AND the lustful intent are no more or less natural results of common hormonal functions, or creations of the Lord, has somehow escaped the dutifully self-flagellant Christian soldiers who appear to have significant influence on the general American mentality. 

I am reminded of Carmela Soprano's analysis of her "shnoring" priest Father Phil who eats the food and uses the facilities that are all provided by Tony Soprano's sins while edging around a dangerous relationship with his wife. She says she believes he enjoys the "whiff" of sexuality that never goes anywhere. He manipulates spiritually thirsty women through food and the sexual tension game. 

I believe there are some powerful and hypocritical influencers in America who voluntarily or involuntarily enjoy the WHIFF of sexuality but never act upon it and they want to manipulate the people of the country through their political power (which not so long ago was virtually the same as spiritual/religious power) into similar celibacy. Americans are taught to believe sex is bad. Sexual people can't be good. 

Look what happened with the "Hock Tua" girl. She was asked in a street interview what move she uses that always drives her man crazy. Her response was that you need to (hock tua) spit on that thing.  

I absolutely LOVE this girl! Not because she had the minerals to be overtly sexual in a secretly sexual culture, but because she is forcing folks to question their sexual reticence. She became so famous that she was getting 30,000 bucks for personal appearances at sporting events, concerts and such. She recently threw out the first pitch at a Mets game. Wonder if it was a spitball. I heard there were several cubs and boy scouts there for another special event that happened to coincide with Hock Tuah girl day. I bet it was fun for parents to explain that phrase to their kids. lol. Who am I kidding, every one of those kids are supposed to "be prepared." That means resourcefulness. They probably knew about the Hock Tuah girl before their folks. 

Anyhoo, do you know what she is doing with a chunk of the money she's come into? 

GASP! Do you suppose an overtly sexual person could be GOOD?

I don't mean to defend people I disagree with politically but, here I go again: What the hell is with the whole couch cushion deal and J.D. Vance? It seems engaging with an inside-out glove between two cushions is furniture fornication that the good Lord cannot abide in a person in political power in the US. It's described here in Rolling Stone, and I enjoyed the quip on the Colbert Late Show that the U.S. prefers Coach to Couch for their VP Coach being Tim Walz, who is a teacher and a coach, and Couch being Vance. 

But again, COME ON! Who cares? I refer again to the Sopranos when Chrissy says, "He'd fuck a catcher's mitt." I remember thinking when I first heard that, "Well, I'm not a catcher, but if I HAD a catcher's mitt I believe I would give that a whirl." So? Ever see the movie American Pie? Men are pigs. We're all sick. We need help. 

OR is that lust in our hearts by design? Do you suppose it might help with the continuance of the species? Do you suppose practically every species has the same instinct? Do you suppose the puritanical, Father Intantola, people who get off on bringing that instinct to a head and denying themselves are really the weird ones? Maybe they are the unnatural ones. Maybe THEY are the bad ones. 

Then there was the Olympics. There they were. The height of physical achievement on display. What got our attention? Was it the Swedish pole vaulter who incredibly did THIS?

Or was it the French pole vaulter who did this?

I think you might know. 

I'm not even going to scratch the surface of "Is she a he - gate" but think on this my readers: It seems the same people who are preaching what is "natural" when they argue against homosexuality are the most vociferous about x/y chromosomes (that occurred naturally) in Imane Khalif (and some others). HEY, dipshits, what occurs naturally is not fair. Take another look at that French pole vaulter ffs! Is THAT fair? Sacre bleu! Lucky Francois! Maybe he shouldn't compete in the Olympics because he's already been gifted by nature and shouldn't take advantage of it.

How 'bout we just look at Michael Phelps? We all know who he is. He has MANY unfair, naturally occurring advantages and we celebrated them. His ankles are double jointed that bend 15% more than normal, and size 14 feet. His knees and elbows are also double jointed. He has an 80 inch wingspan (4 inches longer than his 6'4 height which is abnormally lucky), Oh yeah, and his system can clear lactic acid one half to one third more quickly than other elite swimmers so his recover time is about twice as fast. Probably shouldn't have given him those 28 medals including 23 gold medals, should we?

I believe this silliness too stems from the unnatural preoccupation with sex whether it be the jiggy jiggy type or gender. Which brings me to my message of the day. America... grow the hell up!